Progressing Through Life

A couple of weeks ago I ran across this quote and it's stuck in my mind ever since.

"Be careful not to compare yourself with others. You ought to be glad you are here. Quit wishing you were somewhere else. Quit wishing you were someone else. When you compare yourself with others you can be led astray. Compare yourself with what you used to be and you will see progress." -Boyd K. Packer

I've thought to myself many times that I wish I could be in someone else's shoes (of course I don't ever think about any of the trials they have to go through,) but really just to have this little "picture perfect" family. One where all your kids are happy and healthy and safe in my arms. But the more I think about it , the more I am truly grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows us so well, and teaches us more about life, even though many of the lessons are tough. I've thought a lot in the last couple of weeks about what our lives might be like if we had Graham here as a happy, healthy baby. I know that we wouldn't be where we are now. We wouldn't have the understanding of the Gospel that we have now. We wouldn't have the relationship that we have with our Heavenly Father. We wouldn't have the relationship with each other that we have now. And as ironic as it seems, I'm thankful for my trials. I wish I could have Graham here, but I know that he's in a better place, and that we will be together again someday. I'm grateful for these learning experiences that help me to progress through life. Those experiences that build my faith and make my testimony stronger. The experiences that make me appreciate everything a little bit more each day. And as I look back at myself, I can see the growth, lots of growth in the last year.

Remembering the Importance of Life

Today at church I heard just what I needed to hear and that's what I love about going to church. Today I was released from Young Women's and put in as a scout leader, so today was my last day with my Beehives. Our lesson today was on the importance of life. In this lesson we were reminded of the beautiful earth Heavenly Father created for us to live on. This magnificent earth that we were given dominion over and which would provide for our temporal needs. Then we were reminded that our divine role as women is to be mothers and to bear spirit children needing to come to earth for their mortal bodies. We were reminded about the consequences of abortion. And we were reminded about the uncertainties that come in life. The entire time I thought of Graham. I thought about that first perinatologist appointment where we had two options, abortion or letting nature run its course. And I remember being horrified at the thought of abortion, and it was never even an option. If we were going to lose the baby early on, nature would take care of it. And it was a scary road. A very uncertain road, one where even doctors didn't really know much. One where we had to trust the Heavenly Father would take care of us. And it was hard, it was frightening and heartbreaking, and yet if we had the choice to do it again, we'd do it in a heartbeat because the joy that came was so great. The life that was brought into the world, only for just a few short hours, was great, and had to come to our family so he complete his test on earth. Every life is important, no matter how long or short their time on earth, no matter if there is health or sickness, no matter what differences each person has. We were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth, and even though there are trials, it's still worth the hardships, it's worth it all to be the mother of some of these sweet spirits of our Heavenly Father.

Big Things Come in Little Packages

Last night I laid in bed and thought of little Graham. How much I missed him. I thought about his strong spirit, and the influence that he's had on not only me, but many with his short time on Earth. His spirit was so big and strong and yet he was in this little body. And as I look back at pictures I realize just how small his body was, but yet I think his spirit made his physical stature seem so much bigger. He surely was a great blessing that came in a little package.

I've been reading a little book lately from Neal A. Maxwell, "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience," that has some big things in it as well. Big promises and reminders of God's love for us. He gives a quote by President Kimball that says:

"We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experiences and that we would have joys and sorrows, ease and pain, comforts and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments. We knew also that after a period of life we would die. We accepted all these eventualites with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and the unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only a day or a year. Perhaps we were not so much concerned whether we should die of disease, of accident, or of senility. We were willing to take life as it came and as we might organize and control it, and this without murmur, complaint, or unreasonable demands. We sometimes think we would like to know what was ahead, but sober thought brings us back to accepting life a day at a time and magnifying and glorifying that day."

And I'm reminded of the plan we were presented in heaven, that we agreed to this all, and that it was for our good. Elder Maxwell went on to say "since there was no exemption from suffering for Christ, how can there be one for us? Do we really want immunity from adversity? Especially when certain kinds of suffering can aid our growth in this life? To deprive ourselves of those experiences, much as we might momentarily like to, would be to deprive ourselves of the outcomes over which we shouted with anticipated joy when this life's experiences were explained to us so long ago, in the world before we came here."

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." Ether 12:6

Mitch's First Day of 2nd Grade

Mitch is in 2nd grade.

Where did the time go?

He's going to Riverside Elementary this year,

In Mrs. Stalder's class,

and he was pretty excited and pretty nervous this morning too!

He got up early,

picked out his clothes (none of his new school clothes)

And was ready to go.

And I missed him today.

And I felt a little anxious too, having him gone all day,

even longer days with their new schedule.

But I knew he was ok,

until I got a phone call from the school.

Mitch was told he was getting picked up from school,

I told him to ride the bus home.

So he sat for half an hour afterschool,

but we got him picked up,

and he fell asleep on the way home.

Today was a good first day of school.

Our Summer in Photos (or Lack of)

I sit here tonight and I can't believe that our summer vacation is really over. We've done quite a bit this summer and yet I haven't been great about documenting all of it, but here are a few of our photos from our summer. We played tennis and coach pitch. We played with friends and family and swam and swam and swam. And we had ourselves plenty of lazy days, just hanging out at home, passing the time. And we had kids that pestered eachother 24/7 and sleepovers at Grandma's. We've eaten lots of popsicles and ice cream, used lots of sunscreen, and now it all comes to an end. And there is a time and season for all things, so I guess it's good that the summer comes to an end and we start with a schedule and all that jazz, but I'm going to have to admit, I'm not looking forward to waking up early!

Changes in Seasons

One thing I love about where I live is the changes in seasons. I love getting to experience many different types of weather during the year and we are headed into my favorite time of the year, fall. The mornings are so cool and crisp, and yet it still warms up during the day. The harvesting of crops is beginning, and even though I wasn't really much of a farm girl I love the harvest season. Seeing the crops that have grown so much finally be harvested and the ground will soon be tilled once again to prepare for next year. The leaves will start changing before long and school begins and life starts calming down from the busy summer. And this year I'm feeling a change in the seasons with myself. Feeling the calming effects coming into my life right now. We've had a crazy, life changing summer and now we're calming back down to life as we know it, which is good. We're reaping some of the blessings that have come from this trial of growth. And as I watch the sunset and the sprinklers on the field tonight, I'm feeling so blessed and thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who blesses us in so many ways.

A Gift in the Mail

Yesterday I received a special gift in the mail. We got the pictures our photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I've been waiting for these for a while and yesterday was a good day to get them. Sweet reminders of our little angel baby, and he does look like an angel in these photos. It's a good reminder to me that the short five hours we had with him was worth all the pain, definitely worth it all.

A huge thank you to Kimberlee Kenner for taking these photos. NILMDTS is a great organization that helps so many families during their time of need, please let people know about this great organization and their programs.

School Shopping

This last week we went on a little shopping trip to Salt Lake. It was a much needed mini-vacation and it was nice to get away for a couple of days. We went with Grandma JoAnn and met up with Allison, Grace and Max. These are just a few of the snapshots I got. The kids had a blast, shopping and getting spoiled by Grandma. We shopped, we swam, we ate and we talked. Couldn't get any better than that!

Libby's new shades. And she lost them at the very last store of the shopping trip, so sad :(

One of the few times Mitch actually had a smile on his face. He felt picked on being the only boy with all the girls and all the stores were so "girly" and didn't have any cool boy stuff.

New Shades

Little play stop

Max was quite a good little shopper. His mom has trained him well :)

The girls had a great time together

The best part of the trip for me! We had a lady come to the hospital when Graham was born and do these hand and foot impressions. They were finished and so we got to pick them up.

Little feet ornaments, so sweet!

We had a great time! Thanks Grandma for the trip!

Motherhood

Today I sat in church and just watched all the mothers in our ward. Mothers ranging in age, but all showing their motherly characteristics. And I reflected during that hour about motherhood. How we are created with this instinct that makes us mothers, we become mothers as soon as we know there's a new life in us. We find ourselves dreaming about how great motherhood is, how we can conquer it all, that our kids will always be clean and perfectly dressed, and well behaved all the time. But we soon find that motherhood isn't as predictable as we had hoped. That motherhood is a hard job, the hardest, most demanding job I think we have as women, because it never stops. We don't quit being moms, ever. I watched all these different women with their children, (as I struggled with mine at times as well) and thought about all the different aspects of motherhood that aren't always so pleasant. The whining and crying, the wrestling in church pews, the baby spitup, and dirty diapers, and just pure restlessness of children being restrained for an hour. And I watched mothers with older children, those having struggles with their children that aren't visible to the audience like small children. The disobedient teenagers, the ones who look at their parents like they're stupid. And I thought of all the bad things that kids do, and how frustrating it gets as parents. How some days you just feel like you're going to explode. And then I thought about more of the unexpected things that come with motherhood. The women who aren't able to bear children, who long to just have a baby. Or those who have children with special needs, that have a lot more pressure on them than the typical mother. Or like me, the one who was asked to give her child back to Heavenly Father. And I realized that we take motherhood for granted. We just expect it to be something that we do, that always falls into place. We quickly learn that it's not always easy, that kids will be kids, that your time for mothering might not be here or now, and that makes it hard. But one things for sure, during all the bad times, there are way more good times. More little hugs and kisses, more little sweet comments, more cuddles and more cuteness, and that makes this whole mother thing WAY worth it.