Our Leap of Faith

We mustered up enough courage to try and add to our family, and our newest member is due in September. My mom keeps asking me when I'm going to blog about it and I've had a hard time doing that. This really is a leap of faith for us, and one where I'm still really scared. I'm not the type of person that announces to the world, "Hey, I just took a pregnancy test and guess what, I'm pregnant." I guess I'm just not comfortable doing that and I figure that people will figure it out on their own soon enough. But this pregnancy makes it even more difficult to tell people about. I think mostly because I'm still trying to protect my heart as much as possible. Because it's easier that not many people know if things don't work out. I can honestly say that as a family we've all been protecting ourselves quite a bit. We're not to the excited point yet, we're trying not to get our hopes up too much (even though everything looks fine so far) and it's hard not to think negatively. We told the kids about the baby and told them we weren't telling people for a while until we had another ultrasound and made sure everything looked okay. I was surprised because neither one of them said anything to anyone other than family. Mitch will rarely talk about the baby without putting the phrase in "I hope this baby isn't sick" or "I hope this baby doesn't die." and it makes me realize how hurt he is too.

As a mother, it's hard for me to picture holding any other baby than Graham, and I've missed him more lately than I have for a while. It's definitely a bittersweet time for us, we're cautiously hopeful and we pray that the plan this time is to keep our baby here with us.