Patience is a Virtue

And a virtue I don't possess much of! Can I just say that these last few months have been the rollercoaster ride of a lifetime! And we're not off the ride yet! We've had ups and downs and lots of confusion and no clear answers, and Mitch's words from the Colossus ride at Lagoon sums it up. "That was miserable." Well at least this week has been a bit miserable. Our week started off with a routine trip to the perinatologist. Now we see a group of doctors so we don't always see the same doctor, but we've seen the same doctor twice in a row now. So we went in for our appointment and did the routine ultrasound. I asked the U/S tech if the baby was small and he is measuring a week behind, but that's not unusual she said. So we looked at the baby's head the the encephahlacil is bigger, filled up with more fluid. So the doctor comes in and gives us a whole new rundown from last month. He's not sure what the outcome will be, nor can he tell what part of the brain is actually outside of the skull, so scratch what he said last month (No hope at all) and now you can plan on delivering at U of U and sending the baby straight to Primary Children's for neurosurgery. So to say the least, Mike and I were a bit overwhelmed!!!! Every appointment goes from one end of the spectrum to the other. So we were told to go to Primary Children's to meet with a Pediatric Neurosurgeon in hopes that he would have a better idea of the outcome and how we should plan. We made it to Primary Children's on Thursday, got mixed up with the wrong doctor, but eventually made it to the right place. And in the meantime I had a meltdown seeing all the sick kids and the parents trying to put on their best faces but the strain and heartache shows all over. Boy, it's hard to go to Primary Children's at anytime, but when you face the idea that your child will be the one there, it's a bit overwhelming. Mike kept telling me we haven't even seen the doctor, you don't need to cry. But I was crying for those poor kids, one little girl in particular about Libby's age, who just broke my heart. So I tried to compose myself and finally we made it to the right doctor, the moment of truth, what can we expect??????? The doctor told us that it is almost impossible to know for sure what the outcome will be until the baby is here. He said it is really too hard to look at any picture and make a decision, unless they see something really severe close to the end of the pregnancy. So his advice to us was to keep going and get the baby here and then it's all dependant on little Graham and what his body can withstand. So maybe a little hope, but still unsurity and fear for sure. So we keep trecking, and praying and trusting in Heavenly Father, and working on the virtue of patience. But I am so grateful for Mitch and Libby and their healthy little bodies. All I could look forward to last night was crawling in bed with all of them and squeezing them all night.