Time

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS BRUTALLY HONEST, SO READ WITH PATIENCE AND CARE AS I STAMMER ON TODAY, AND DON'T JUDGE TOO HARSHLY.

This week time has been on my mind. How fast time goes but yet can stand still as well. This week Mitch celebrated his 100th day at school. My mom made the comment that that meant there were only 80 days of school left (I'm sure both my mom and Mitch are counting those days down :)) But that comment made me freak out a little bit and it's bugged me all week. Time, we have such a short time with our sweet baby, but yet it's been a long road, with lots more trecking to do.

Today we were trying to get some Saturday cleaning done and I went into the spare bedroom to clean up some left over odds and ends and put the boxes of regular clothes in there for storage so I didn't have to pack them downstairs. As I picked things up and organized what I could I had a really hard time. That is supposed to be the baby's room. It has been since we drew up the blueprints for the house. But now that's not what is going to happen and today I was sad. I've waited for this time to repaint and make this room cute, like the other kids' rooms. I'd hope we'd have a boy because the dresser was already to go and I wouldn't have to redo that. But I sat there today realizing that this was not how it is going to be, and probably in Heavenly Fathers plan wasn't meant to be. But today was a day I wanted a miracle SO BAD. Just let this baby be normal and come home and sleep in his room. And stay with his family and let us watch him grow up. But then Heavenly Father comforts me and tells me it's okay, just keep up the faith, it will all work out.

So time is on my mind, such a short time, such a long road and the fear is really starting to kick in. So now we take things day by day and enjoy our baby while he's here and trust in the Lord.