One Year

Today was one year, really hard to believe. But today we celebrated Graham and his short life on Earth. It was a day filled with lots of different emotions, but mostly gratitude, for Heavenly Father blessing our family with Graham. For the lessons he taught us and the strength he has given us. We miss him like crazy, but we're so glad to know we'll see him again someday.

Tonight we went to the cemetary and sent balloons to Heaven. The kids sang Happy Birthday, and we talked about how much we loved Graham. Mike told Mitch that the birthday parties in Heaven were probably pretty awesome, and I'm sure they are.

After the cemetary we came home and planted a tree for Graham and celebrated with some birthday cake.

I've thought lots over the last year about what this day would be like. It was a pretty normal day, life keeps moving on, things still have to be done, even on the days that we're sad. And my emotions have ranged from sadness and joy, to anger and confusion. But overall, it's been a happy day. A day where I remembered the little boy that made me brave. Who helped strengthen my testimony and brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. The little boy that taught us not to take life for granted, to love more and have no regrets. And even in my darkest moments, there is still so much good and light in my life and I'm thankful, and I'll be reminded for many more years because of our sweet baby Graham.

Major Blog Update!

So I'm a terrible scrapbooker and journaler, so this blog is as good as it gets. I forget about pictures I've taken, lose my camera, run out of time and the list goes on and on. Oh, and one certain little girl in this house seems to be taking off with my camera taking random pictures of her and our house. I deleted more pictures than I saved when I downloaded the pictures onto the computer today, so here's my big recap for the spring

Good thing she's cute!

Libby went to a Princess Tea Party at the High School this year. There were TONS of little princesses there and Libby was in tears by time we left because it was TOO MUCH of a good thing. On the way home she told me and my mom that she didn't want her Dad to call her Princess anymore because she had had enough of being a princess.

Mike fixed bikes this spring and when he brought them home he had already taken Libby's training wheels off. Me, being the great mom I am, could only stand to run around, bent over, trying to hold all of her weight to one side, for a few minutes. I told her she was going to have to practice on her own, without my help. After about an hour she was up and going. I wish I would have taken some pictures of her legs that week because they were BEAT UP! Now we can't seem to get her off her bike.

Mitch got bit by our neighbor's dog a couple of weeks ago, and it has been quite the ordeal. It was just a little dog, thank goodness, or the damage would have been lots worse. He was more scared of having to get stitches than being bit by the dog, and he did really well throughout the LONG couple of weeks of getting infected, draining infection, lots of medicine and dr's appointments. He's on the mend now and that's a good thing because the week and a half he had the stitches in were the worst few days of his life. (i.e. he couldn't do anything that he's used to doing, playing sports, riding his bike and motorcycle, swimming etc.)

After the stitches came out

Libby had her last choir concert of the year. They were pretty cute as usual. They only sang one song this time, but added choreography in too. They sang "Cry If I Want To" and he song fit Libby perfectly.

Taking her final bow of the year!

Mitch has been busy playing baseball in the terrible, freezing weather of Idaho. I've only taken a couple of shots because there's only been about 2 games where we weren't bundled up as tight as we could get. He'll be playing until the end of June, so I'm sure I'll get some more shots in the future.

Libby finished her first year of pre-school this year and had her graduation last week. I didn't have a very good seat, so didn't get many pictures, but I'll have to get some better one's from Grandma J. Libby loved Pre-school, especially her teacher, Mrs. Hansen and her classmates. She's already driving me crazy because she's so bored at home.

It's a .....

Well, I wrote this post once, and for some reason blogger deleted it. We had D-day at the Lindsay house on Wednesday. We knew we'd have one happy kid and one sad kid, we just had to wait and see who was who. We had our ultrasound, everything looks good so far, and the baby was being a stinker, not wanting to show off anything. But from what we've seen so far, we're going to be adding another GIRL to the Lindsay household.

Libby's smile was priceless when we told her. Mitch shed lots of tears, but his friend Holden told him he shouldn't be too sad because brothers aren't that great. Mike and I will take whatever, just wanting a healthy baby.

Mike's getting all prepared to get the nursery ready, and I"m letting him run with the idea. If he wants to do more of the work, more power to him.

Thought of the Day

Lately, I've struggled with everything lately, work, being a wife and mother, church callings, I've just felt so overwhelmed and tired. Maybe it's cause I really am tired. But today I opened up an e-mail from our HR guy at work and he had just what I needed to hear, to boost me up for now.

"... We'll, I suppose that proves to me, once again, that life doesn't
stand still and neither should we. To use a baseball analogy, Life is the
Major Leagues. The difference here is fail and you dont get to go down to
the minors. Oh, just not in business or our professional lifes, but
in our personal lives as well. We are here for just a brief moment, yet
during that time, our influence... our impact can be so great and so positive...
or not. It is our choice, really. Life doesn't stand still, so what
makes us think that we should be able to. We are not made to be
content... we are that we should have joy. And finding joy is finding
challenge... and occasional adversity... and ultimately, knowing that we make a
difference. We are that we should make a difference...."

--Mike Groshong

Well I think I'll just keep my head up high and doing what I'm doing, trying to make some positivie come out of my actions :)

Courage

The last couple of days, I've just gone back and read some old posts, read through some of my journal, and read some of my favorite scriptures. I'm feeling a lot less courageous than I was a year ago. I'm feeling a lot of fear in my life and I hate it. I'm saying so many little prayers everyday, begging Heavenly Father to let me keep my kids, here with me and safe. We've had a scary week, Mitch was bit by a dog in the face, which later got infected, and my 20 week appointment and ultrasound is right around the corner and so I'm really nervous. I've been trying to pinpoint my fears and why I can't really get control of them right now. My fears are different today. Last year we knew that we would lose a child, that was scary because we didn't know what it was like to lose a child, but we've experienced it and I know now what it's like and my new fear is losing another one. My biggest enemy right now is my anxiety, which triggers fear, and I've been amping myself up to hear bad news, to prepare myself for the worst again, and I hate the thought, every bit of it. So I'm praying for courage, especially over the next few months. Praying that I can get control of myself and quit being my worst enemy!

Thought of the Day

"Every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing..." -Joseph B. Wirthlin